Horoscopes: November 2020

Aries: You may feel like a snail emerging from its shell.But, that’s just a dull illusion of a twisted reality. Quit your job and NEVER LEAVE HOME AGAIN. Taurus: Your boisterous, generous attitude is inspiring and welcomed by others. Who does that bitch Kathy at the office think she is to turn her nose up to your homemade queso? She can go right along and … Continue reading Horoscopes: November 2020

College Virgin Votes Trump

It’s been nearly four years since Donald Trump was elected President of the United States and you can still feel the shockwaves rumbling across the “land of the free” as unemployment, Most recently, 26-year-old virgin Mickey Pugnuts expressed his frustrations online in a heated status about his vote for President Trump. “Katie Gardner you fat piece of shit I hate you. I voted for Trump … Continue reading College Virgin Votes Trump

Horoscopes: September 2020

Aries: Both your love life and connections to you colleagues are on the agenda this week. The HR receptionist knows that you called her a “stupid cunt” behind her back and your boyfriend found you while cheating on Tinder. Have fun with that shit! Taurus: Expect to fall in love at first sight today, just don’t spend over $250 at the strip club. Your mom … Continue reading Horoscopes: September 2020

Field Trip Update: Black Student Shot By White Student In Minor Incident

Dear Parents,  As you may all be aware, last week we had a field trip to Exchange City (an educational roleplaying center where children get the chance to run an imaginary town set in a warehouse). The field trip went exceptionally well! We did, however, have one little hiccup. A white first grader who was chosen to be a cop at exchange accidentally fired off … Continue reading Field Trip Update: Black Student Shot By White Student In Minor Incident