Spring Is The Best Time To Get Involved In A Crypto-based Ponzi Scheme.

Spring is in the air; any red-blooded American knows what that means. Baseball, Barbecue, and scamming their most cherished friends and relatives out of their hard-earned money through a Crypto based Ponzi scheme.

That’s right; young, pale frizzy haired white dudes aren’t the only ones who can scam people out of their life savings. Regular Gills and Jills of all races and creeds can also get into the action. The art of blissfully separating people from their money is a tale as old as time and is the foundation upon which this glorious nation was built.

The Weather is Perfect

You can’t beat spring weather. It’s not too hot, and it’s not too cold like Goldilocks preferred porridge. It’s just right. So after you empty some rubes pockets by getting them to give you actual money for digital money that doesn’t exist, their new home on a street corner would be the perfect climate for a comfortable stay.

Extended Daylight and Extended Margaritas

Another reason Spring is the perfect time to use Crypto to swindle people out of their rent money is that it gets darker later in Spring, and you’ll be out enjoying extended happy hour drinks at your favorite watering hole! That means less time to introspectively look into the depths of your soul and stew about the monster you have become and more time for margaritas, Greyhounds, martinis, and Cosmopolitans!

The Gods are on Your Side

Furthermore, getting involved in a Crypto scheme is best done after the Vernal Equinox is that Pecuniam Esurienti, the demigod of devious financial decisions, finally awakes from its Winter slumber, and boy, will he help you out! His appearance can only be conceptualized in person, but the best description would be an Eagle mixed with a Tiger combined with another Eagle; we’re talking about a two-beak situation here.

Join The Fellowship

All would-be Crypto scammers must pilgrimage to the crypto scammer lair deep in the heart of Disney’s Epcot Center. You’ve gone too far if you pass Walt Disney’s cryogenically frozen crypt or Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride. A simple blood oath and five goat sacrifices later, your Crypto Ponzi scheme will be blessed beyond comprehension!

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