How To Date On A Budget

As the great American poet Raekwon once said, “Times are rough and tough like leather.” And boy, is that true for those looking for love. 

Thanks to inflation, everything is more expensive these days, Groceries, gas, the fee one pays their bookie, so they don’t get their kneecaps broken when the Eagles don’t cover the spread in the Super Bowl. Thanks, Harrison Butker!

 It was recently estimated by people who are stupid enough to calculate statistics on dating that lovebirds are collectively spending $117.4 billion attempting to find love. Finding the person you will statistically most likely divorce in five years should be relatively inexpensive.

So the fine folks at Lousy Human want to look out for you with four ways to date on a budget.

Cooking at Home 

You can spend a lot of money taking potential love interests out to fancy restaurants. However, you can make restaurant-quality food at home with ingredients that are low-cost or at no cost! Just go to your favorite ritzy spot, go around back, and take the stuff they throw in the dumpster. That saves you money on groceries and gets your workout in for the day, a win-win! 

Get Crafty 

Taking up a mutual hobby with the person you’re getting to know can be a real money saver, and since we already know you like cooking, cooking Methamphetamine with someone you have eyes for can really be what you need to take the relationship to the next level. Working together as a team making an illegal controlled substance will bond people for life! We’ve all seen ‘Breaking Bad,’ and who wouldn’t want a storybook ending like that?  

Dating a distant relative  

Hey, times are rough these days, and if ‘Game of Thrones has taught us anything, sometimes family members make great romantic partners. Now I’m not talking about dating a sibling, but a second or third cousin … maybe even first if they’re hot enough. Think about it, who knows more about your financial hardships than your kin? A person you met on Hinge might want to order an appetizer, but your cousin would know that ordering those mozzarella sticks might cause you to get your car repossessed or be the reason you have to move to the growing encampment at your local park.  

Joining a cult 

This last tip is a little much for most people, but hear us out. With today’s inflationary environment joining a cult has never been as practical. You get free clothes; they feed you, and any cults worth their salt these days have a big-time sex component to them, so no dating is necessary! Just throwing it out there! 

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