How To Kiss Him In A Way That Communicates You’re A Safe Place For Him To Open Up About His Dad

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sex is cool.

But you know what’s cooler?

Emotional intimacy coming from a shared sense of commitment to establishing a healthy future relationship that is void of toxicity and abrasiveness.

I’m an expert in going from casual sex to long-term energetic intertwinement. You won’t be his little weird slut for much longer. You’ll be so much more. Read on for my toolbox on how to turn your play thing into your twin-flame-soul-fire-God-king-man. 

Today, we will start with the basics: how to kiss him in a way that communicates you’re a safe place for him to open up about his dad.

  1. Audit your routine. Before you try to segue into conversations about your man’s difficult past, you’ll want to take note of what typically happens when you go over to his house to visit. If you don’t have an awareness of the routine, you won’t be able to find opportunities to insert your demands for vulnerability. Here are some tips:
  • If you typically go over in the middle of the night, you’ll want to bring along some coffee for both parties. Men can get a little sleepy at this time, so to keep him actively engaged in the conversation, you’ll want to feed him caffeine.
  • If you typically go over around dinner time, make sure he’s not eating too many carbs. Men who eat too many carbs fall asleep instead of talking about their inner life.
  • If you go over before work, you’ll want to bring him a Red Bull. It’s early. Allow him the opportunity to wake up to your heart and soul by providing him an energy drink.
  1. Start smooching to disarm him. You don’t want him to know that you’re planning on sifting through the entire history of his innermost being. Men love kisses. Give him a little kiss. Physical intimacy is the open door that emotional intimacy is just on the other side of. 
  2. Affirm him. Men need a signal that you’re not going to judge them. Insert some sexy affirmations into your make-out session. When you’re kissing him on the ear, take a moment to whisper something that opens the door for more conversation. These can be something like:
  • “I love kissing you. It reminds me how I feel comfortable sharing my darkest secrets with you, even when I haven’t come to terms with them myself.”
  • “I feel so safe with you. One time, I stole my grandfather’s back pain medicine and then he died.”
  • “You make me feel like I can be my true self around you. I don’t feel like you’d judge me for my history of tax evasion, even though my credit score is going to have an intense impact on our financial future. I feel like you’ll understand and, ultimately, be a safe person for me to come home to after prison.”
  1. Sit back and let the man cry. Wow. He’s going to be so overcome with emotion from listening to you pour your heart out that the vulnerability is going to come flooding in. Be sure to listen with a non-judgmental ear. Provide validation and reward for his sharing, such as:
  • “When you share how you really feel, I can sense my sexual capabilities growing.”
  • “Your emotional intimacy makes me excited at this opportunity to blow you in a gas station restroom.”
  • “You’re being so courageous. You sharing about your terrible father makes me feel like I can trust you to impregnate me.”
  1. Live the life you’ve always dreamed. You’ve done it. You’ve taken your man-slut to the next level. Continue practicing emotional vulnerability by repeating this process as needed. 

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