Tag: Satire

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Hunter Biden Indicted For Loving Guns, Hating Taxes, And Getting Too Much Pussy

In yet another display of the Biden administration’s crusade against all things American, the demented dictator has ordered his army of 87,000 armed IRS agents to indict his own son on tax and gun charges. The shocking revelations surrounding Hunter Biden’s supposed “crimes” are sending shockwaves through the nation, proving that nothing is sacred to Democrats when it comes to political warfare and pushing their … Continue reading Hunter Biden Indicted For Loving Guns, Hating Taxes, And Getting Too Much Pussy

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Articles

A Hostile Letter To Oscar Mayer

Dear Oscar, You phony, little slut. I hate you, I really do. Nothing brings such disgust and gut-wrenching pain quite like the sound of your name. Your nauseating, pink products that oddly resemble one another in both color and flavor. How is it that you manage to make every meat you sell taste like bologna? This leads me to believe that your meats come from … Continue reading A Hostile Letter To Oscar Mayer

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Articles

How To Kiss Him In A Way That Communicates You’re A Safe Place For Him To Open Up About His Dad

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sex is cool. But you know what’s cooler? Emotional intimacy coming from a shared sense of commitment to establishing a healthy future relationship that is void of toxicity and abrasiveness. I’m an expert in going from casual sex to long-term energetic intertwinement. You won’t be his little weird slut for much longer. You’ll be so much more. Read on for my toolbox … Continue reading How To Kiss Him In A Way That Communicates You’re A Safe Place For Him To Open Up About His Dad

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Articles

Town Upset Mayor Wants to House the Homeless Instead of Introducing Plan to Kill Them

Mayor Christine Montgomery of Wellington Village, FL was booed off the stage today and she introduced a plan to house the homeless in a former hotel. The program would provide shelter for more than 300 unhoused in individuals and children in the community. “How is this going to affect our property values?” a bloated Caucasian with less than five years left to live screeched from … Continue reading Town Upset Mayor Wants to House the Homeless Instead of Introducing Plan to Kill Them

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Articles

How To Convince Your Dentist To Have An Enemies-To-Lovers Thing With You

They hate their job.  You hate their job.  But they’re kinda sexy, to be honest.  A dramatic, intense, wildly forbidden enemies-to-lovers arc would certainly make your bi-annual trip to the dentist more exciting.  But how to go about it?  I’ve had irresponsible relationships with seven different doctors in my lifetime (nine if you count JDs), so I feel highly qualified to discuss.  Let’s dive in.  … Continue reading How To Convince Your Dentist To Have An Enemies-To-Lovers Thing With You

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Donald Trump Already Dead and Replaced with Clone

New documents obtained from inside the deep state reveal that Former/Current Donald Trump has been killed by the United States Shadow Government and has been replaced by a clone! The biological being surrendering themselves to the Fulton County Sheriff’s Office on August, 28th, 2023 is NOT, we repeat, IS NOT, the former president. It is a clone created by a semen sample stolen in his … Continue reading Donald Trump Already Dead and Replaced with Clone

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Articles

UPS to Hold NFL Style Combine for Bevy of Candidates

Due to the staggering number of applications flooding its system, United Parcel Service, better known as UPS, will now hold NFL-like combine tryouts for all looking to don the brown and gold.  “You wouldn’t believe the sheer amount of young people wanting to deliver packages for a living, but hell at $170,000 a year who could blame them, that’s mob associate money,” said veteran UPS … Continue reading UPS to Hold NFL Style Combine for Bevy of Candidates

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Focus Group Uneasy With ‘Young Sheldon’ Where Youngster Becomes a Meth Kingpin

CBS executives were taken aback when a recent focus group participant called out the network on a yet-to-be-air episode of ‘Young Sheldon. The controversial episode sees the title character use his intellect to corner the Meth market in his small Texas town. “I really don’t think that’s in the spirit of what the show is about,” said Edna Reynolds of Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin. “We watch … Continue reading Focus Group Uneasy With ‘Young Sheldon’ Where Youngster Becomes a Meth Kingpin

Reggie W.Leave a comment