Luigi Nicholas Mangione might be the most relatable fugitive of all time. In a world full of cold-blooded criminals and heartless masterminds, here’s a man who followed his heart, his moral compass—and his stomach—straight to the golden arches.

Mangione, 26, was wanted for the murder of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, putting him down with what is suspected to be a 3D-printed veterinary pistol. A crime that already had the makings of a cinematic masterpiece. He fled the scene on a bicycle, disappeared into Central Park like some kind of urban ninja, and even outsmarted New York City authorities for days. You’d think the guy was writing his own Ocean’s Eleven spin-off.

But on Monday, Mangione proved that he wasn’t just any criminal—he was a man of principle, a man who couldn’t resist the siren song of a McDonald’s breakfast. After days on the run, he rolled into an Altoona, Pennsylvania, McDonald’s like a king returning to his castle. Witnesses say he calmly ordered a sausage McGriddle, hash browns, and coffee, with the kind of confidence that only comes from knowing you’ve made the right decision.

Honestly, who among us wouldn’t risk it all for that sweet-and-savory perfection? Mangione was living his truth, and we can’t help but respect that.

Police, of course, didn’t see it that way. A McDonald’s employee tipped them off, and within hours, the pigs had taken our king  into custody. Sure, he was carrying the gun believed to be used in the murder, and yes, his writings suggested some pretty heavy “ill will toward corporate America.” But let’s not forget the bigger picture here: Mangione stared down the twin pressures of justice and hunger—and he chose hunger. Also, that evidence looks planted as fuck. Who would carry around their manifesto like he was peddling it for a book deal? Besides Karl Marx.  

Some might call it hubris, others a blatant setup by a corrupt police department. We call it humanity.

Luigi Mangione’s downfall wasn’t greed, anger, or even ambition—it was the universal need for a warm, syrup-soaked bite of happiness with sausage in the middle. In another life, he could’ve been a hero, or at least the face of a McGriddle ad campaign. Instead, he’s behind bars, proving that even the best breakfast comes with a price.

Here’s to you, Luigi. May the jury do the right thing, or at least may your prison cafeteria at least serve decent pancakes.