For a ‘straight’ alpha type, Jesse Watters sure spends a lot of airtime imagining what it would be like to be under Stephen Miller. Inviting Miller’s wife, Katie, who Watters called “the envy of all women” with absolutely zero reference to himself, to talk about the goblin she lets hump her, calling Miller a “sexual matador,” which had the hetero Watters frothing at the mouth and damp in the crotch. The precum would turn to post as Katie went on to describe Golem’s dirty talk.

“He is an incredibly inspiring man,” she smiles like a hostage describing her captor’s morning affirmations before following up with a sentence that is going to make my pussy dry to write. “Who gets me going in the morning with his speeches being like, ‘let’s start the day, I am going to defeat the left, and we are going to win.” 

The two share a painful laugh as the woman, who now almost certainly was impregnated by artificial insemination, closes, “He wakes up the day, ready to execute the mission President Trump (blinks 7000) was elected to do.” 

The two end the conversation, never to be fucked by Miller, but that doesn’t stop Watters from cucking himself to Miller and another.

Most recently, AOC became the victim of Watters’ need to give Miller the two-finger twist and suck on national television. 

Upset that she called Watters’ short king, “4’10,” Jesse donned his finest armour, mounted his white stallion (not Stephen), and rode in to his rescue. Insisting his Daddy was a “high value man” and that she’s unsettled because she wants to sleep with him. Though Jesse is swift to remind the audience that she “can’t have him,” because if anyone was going to be bred by the matador, it was going to be him. Leading to what can only be believed to be a limp tug of self-hatred by the Fox News host later that evening as he imagined the chief of staff having children that he didn’t birth. 

At this point, in my humbled professional opinion, the only honest thing left for Jesse Watters and Stephen Miller to do is drop the pretense, drop their pants, and finally consummate the conservative movement live on Fox. America deserves closure in these trying times. Anything less would be an open display of two deeply closeted cowards afraid of their own desire.