Tennessee Governor Bill Lee is Actually A Drag Icon

In this stifling political climate, Bill Lee, governor of Tennessee, has signed numerous bills that seek to place bans on drag queens in Tennessee. The impact of these bills is major for the LGBTQ+ community– beyond limiting drag performances, the bill ultimately targets and criminalizes transness within the state.  However, the story runs deeper. While Bill Lee looks like every other straight, white, dusty, old … Continue reading Tennessee Governor Bill Lee is Actually A Drag Icon

Marjorie Taylor Greene is Enjoying Kevin McCarthy’s Chapstick

Marjorie Taylor Greene’s Kinky Plans for Kevin McCarthy’s Used Chapstick “At first when I bought it I thought they meant his penis,” Greene told reporters after the purchase. “I’ve seen his penis on multiple occasions and I would always compare it to a little tube of chapstick so when the auctioneer said ‘Kevin McCarthy’s used chapstick, $100,000’ I dove on it.”  The chapstick was in … Continue reading Marjorie Taylor Greene is Enjoying Kevin McCarthy’s Chapstick

Leaked Emails Reveal Mickey Mouse Clapped Ron DeSantis’ Wife’s Cheeks

According to the emails allegedly exchanged between Mrs. DeSantis and Mickey, the two had been “clapping” her “fucking cheeks” for several months. The messages contained explicit details of their encounters, including one particularly scandalous rendezvous in the Magic Kingdom after hours where she and Ron got pregnant with the mouse’s baby and needed an abortion that halted the six-week abortion ban bill on the governor’s … Continue reading Leaked Emails Reveal Mickey Mouse Clapped Ron DeSantis’ Wife’s Cheeks

Unaired He Gets Us Super Bowl Commercial

In 2023, people are more divided than ever before. People are lost, angry, and morally confused. Christianity is under attack. And those who follow the true word of God are being persecuted like never before.  But when our hour seems to be at its darkest, we must turn to the Light, the Jesus Light, and remember: He Gets Us. Jesus, Gets Us.  When we scream … Continue reading Unaired He Gets Us Super Bowl Commercial

Ron DeSantis Rejects AP African American Studies, Addresses Florida Educators

Dear Florida Educators,  It’s no secret that the ‘woke mind virus’ has been infecting our public school systems. With this ‘virus’ spreading, the delicate ears of our children are being exposed to the lies of bogus events such as slavery or the holocaust. Drag queens have been seen in our public education system, grooming our kids and confusing them about their gender.  At this time, … Continue reading Ron DeSantis Rejects AP African American Studies, Addresses Florida Educators

Why Ron DeSantis Always Wears a Suit

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is known not only for being an ideological fascist clown but for dressing like one too. His horrendously tacky navy blue suits do an excellent job of showing how he relates to the everyman. Because there’s no other way to choose a suit that is simultaneously too tight and falling off your body other than being a fucking idiot.  Thankfully, the … Continue reading Why Ron DeSantis Always Wears a Suit

An Expectedly Unhinged Reaction to the FBI Raid on Mar-a-Largo from Marjorie Taylor Green

If anyone needed any more proof that the Joe Biden Administration is a left-wing radical Communist Socialist REGIME, Joe Biden’s tyrannical FBI just performed an ILLEGAL no-knock raid on President Trump’s beloved Mar-a-Largo.  I have repeatedly talked about the coming civil war with my colleagues in the GOP, and I just have to ask myself, when will we finally stand up for American Christian values … Continue reading An Expectedly Unhinged Reaction to the FBI Raid on Mar-a-Largo from Marjorie Taylor Green

U.S. Politicians That Should’ve Been Aborted

“Pro-Life” politicians in the United States hate abortions because they understand they should’ve been one. And if given the opportunity, many of their parents would’ve chosen to abort their shitty child many years into their lives. But instead, they’re here. And they are hell-bound and determined to make it everyone’s fucking problem.  For them, it’s not enough to have the modern-day Republican party impose their … Continue reading U.S. Politicians That Should’ve Been Aborted

Madison Cawthorne Appears On “Would You Date A Russian Spy?”

North Carolina Representative Madison Cawthorne is back on the market and looking for the next love of his life. But this time, he took a different approach to find love with a Russian spy. “Last time a Russian spy tricked me, I was on vacation in St. Petersberg,” Cawthorne explained. “It was there a completely uncompromised U.S. marine introduced me to my incredibly active ex-wife. … Continue reading Madison Cawthorne Appears On “Would You Date A Russian Spy?”

Kyle Rittenhouse Joins The Azov Battalion

Kyle Rittenhouse’s mom is back at it like a rogue Vietnam helicopter pilot in the fog of agent orange. This time she is dropping her son off with his rifle at the Poland/Ukraine border to push back the Russian invasion.  “Kyle felt like he had to help defend Ukraine after seeing the news and stroking the gun that wasn’t his when he killed those people,” … Continue reading Kyle Rittenhouse Joins The Azov Battalion