“Step right up, folks! Don’t miss it! The last election in history! That’s right—your very last chance to make democracy count before poof it’s gone! Forever!

We’ve got it all: nuclear fireworks, Democrat execution parties, and a first-row ticket to the Christo-fascist dictatorship of your nightmares! Don’t be left out, folks—there’s no ‘do-over’ on democracy!

Get in line, cast your vote, and brace yourselves! It’s the thrill ride to the end of the republic! Step right up for your civic duty because next time, you’ll be voting in The Hunger Games—if you’re lucky!

So don’t wait—head on down to your local voting booth! The fate of freedom depends on YOU!

See you on the other side, you lucky devils”