Embattled Harvard President Claudine Gay has seemingly evaded calls to resign her post after changing her name. Gay was sharply criticized for her testimony about antisemitism before a congressional hearing. The president of the prestigious Ivy League school will now be known as Claudine Gay for the Stay. A name that reflects the 8 years she did in prison. The move was described by many pundits as risky but is paying dividends.

“I didn’t know this broad did time? I respect that. You gotta do what you gotta do in the pokey,” said John DeVito, a construction worker from South Boston.

“I have decided to identify with a part of my past that has shaped me more than anything, the time I spent at the United States Penitentiary Leavenworth,” said Gay for the Stay, referring to time in federal lockup. Any hints of antisemitism from the Harvard president can be explained by the indoctrination received during initiation for the Aryan sisterhood of the covenant.

The Harvard Review Board says that Gay for the Stay’s time in prison was not a deterrent but actually an asset. “Havard hasn’t had this much street cred since Conan O’Brien walked these hallowed halls with his ruffian improv troop. We needed to get that back.”