Today, The Alabama Tourism Department decided to change its state’s slogan. Going forward, the state will no longer recognize “Sweet Home Alabama” and will instead promote “Alabama- Bring us your racists, guns, and pedophiles, but not your Muslims, gays or science.”

The head of the state’s tourism department explained, “30 percent of the country is incredibly racist, incredibly stupid, and incredibly ok with dating 14-year-olds,” the State’s social representative stated. “We want to capitalize on that by letting them know they will have like-minded people as their neighbors and co-workers.”

“As of right now, we are working on an amendment to the state’s constitution to change the age of consent to 14 because you know…Jesus stuff.”