Hey folks!

Your favorite queer here, excited to bring you some super important Pride Month content. I’m here to answer the question we’ve all been asking:

Is that rug gay or straight?

Some are really obvious.

This rug is straight as could be.

Lesbian lesbian lesbian lesbian.

But some are tougher to decipher…

Is this rug a straight attempt to appropriate a culture that she knows nothing about, or is this rug a bisexual thrifted masterpiece? 

Bisexual, it is.

If it’s a woven texture like this, it’s straight. Ew. 

This could not get more LGBT. This rug went to a farmer’s market before its job at the Elevate Yoga and Spa. 

This circular rug is as straight as it gets. It’s screaming “X MARKS THE SPOT,” like every woman has to say having sex with a man.

Some rugs go both ways. Like, this rug is both a straight woman and a gay man. This rug has a gay best friend, and this rug is a gay best friend.

Leaves in neutral colors? Baby, that’s straight.

This rug is a non-binary icon. And I’d like to visit their home, thank you very much.

I’m going back and forth a bit with this one. So… this rug is questioning. Move to a big city, rug! There are lots of rugs in the sea there!

And last but not least…

This green rug that looks like hemp and a football field had a baby. Somehow, that math equals GAY!

This pride month, make sure you support queer businesses AND queer items. If your rug ain’t gay, get rid of it, babe.