In this day and age, the dating scene is full of passive individuals, avoiding confrontation and not asking for what they want. This has created an outbreak of unsatisfying relationships, with both parties not meeting the needs of their lovers.

I have a reminder for you.

You can get what you want if you just ask.

It’s not using someone, because everybody’s using someone.

All relationships are transactional.

It’s the cold hard truth.

Are you trading your body for empty words and aspirational promises of a wedding in Cabo?

Are you trading your time for a man who you can list as your emergency contact at work?

Are you trading your emotional well-being for a relationship that looks so profoundly good on paper, even if you are confused about the state of affairs?

Yeah.

Chances are you’re doing something like that.

So why can’t we trade our love and affection for the one thing we need but can’t get ourselves to buy?

I’m here to answer the question we’ve all been asking: Yes. It’s okay to use a man for his bay leaves.

They’re so expensive.

We need them in the curry for like three seconds.

You were gifted with a beautiful body and soul for a purpose, my dear. Don’t let that purpose be tarnished because you’re too afraid to ask for what you want in a relationship.

As long as you are upfront about your desires for the exchange, you can’t go wrong.

There’s a reason bartering is the oldest form of economic transaction.

It just makes sense.

With so much dating being organized digitally, it’s more apparent than ever to make your needs known. Here are some suggestions for Tinder bios that will rear the results you’re looking for.

“Hey! My name is Abby, and I’m looking for a kind, respectful man with plenty of bay leaves to share with me. I make bolognese a lot, but the upfront costs of a jar are too much. If you can cover the costs, I can definitely give you something in return…”

“Hi, y’all! I’m Jennifer. Bay Leaves for Boobs. Text me.”

“The name is Jay, and I’m looking for bae… I mean bay. Bay leaves. I don’t need your love.”

You can infuse your personality and make your desires for the relationship known upfront. Whether you’re bubbly or direct, there’s a way to ask for bay leaves perfectly suited to you.

Just try it, ladies. I think you’ll find that grocery shopping is easier than you though