In yet another display of the Biden administration’s crusade against all things American, the demented dictator has ordered his army of 87,000 armed IRS agents to indict his own son on tax and gun charges. The shocking revelations surrounding Hunter Biden’s supposed “crimes” are sending shockwaves through the nation, proving that nothing is sacred to Democrats when it comes to political warfare and pushing their agenda.

It seems that Hunter Biden’s transgressions are just as American as apple pie, bald eagles, and endless congressional gridlock. Let’s break down these charges one by one, shall we?

Loving Guns: A True Patriotic Crime

First, let’s address the absurd notion that Hunter Biden loving guns is somehow a criminal act. In a country where the Second Amendment is as revered as the holy scripture, one would think that embracing firearms would be a badge of honor. But, no, the Biden administration wants you to believe that having an affinity for firearms is a sin. Apparently, the only acceptable pastime for a Biden is knitting mittens and sniffing kids.

Hating Taxes: A Crime Against the IRS Gods

Now, we come to the heinous crime of hating taxes. It’s a well-known fact that to communism-loving liberals, taxes are the lifeblood of our great nation, and anyone who dares to harbor resentment towards them must be treated as a pariah. Hunter Biden’s alleged tax evasion is nothing more than a man’s attempt to stand up against the oppressive weight of the IRS, which uses its vast resources to fund everything from public infrastructure to the purchase of commemorative Abraham Lincoln action figures.

Getting Too Much Pussy: A Scandalous Scandal

And lastly, the scandalous claim that Hunter Biden is getting too much “pussy.” We must clarify that we are using this crude terminology only because we’re talking about prostitutes. While some may argue that love and companionship are vital aspects of human existence, the Biden administration appears to be waging a war on affection itself. We can only assume that their ideal world is one where handshakes are the highest form of physical contact, and anything further would only be acceptable if done in a homosexual manner.

In conclusion, the indictment of Hunter Biden for these supposed “crimes” is, again, nothing more than a political sideshow meant to distract the American people from the real issues at hand. While they focus on the alleged sins committed by Hunter Biden, they hide the crimes of the Biden crime family that lurk in wait on his laptop.  

Let’s not be fooled by the smoke and mirrors of political theatrics, and instead, let’s focus on what truly matters: leaking more pictures of Hunter Biden’s cock.