Dear Amazon and Jeffery Bezos,

When my dad told me about the job, I was pretty stoked to finally have my chance to work for the company my father has worked for for the last 20 years. 

Having just graduated college, I left school with a ton of experiences that would make me the perfect person for the Director of Sales position. I spent a lot of time in my frat talking people, guys and girls, and can be pretty convincing at times, even with older audiences. Like the time my parents to let me go to Daytona for Spring Break after they said they would never fund me again after my DUI arrest and the manslaughter charges that cost them half a mill in legal fees to get dropped and the lawsuits that followed from the victims families. And by rebuilding that relationship with my parents and local authorities, I think I can teach my sales team a thing or two about building a bond with their clients. 

Other skills and hobbies I have include skiing at my family’s cabin in Colorado and boating at our beach house in the Keys. I also listen to Joe Rogan and look for new ways to upgrade my LooksMaxing routine. And, if you haven’t tried mewing yet, you’re a dumb beta cuck and that’s all I’ll say. 

I’m not sure what else to say, but my dad said he would write you guys a follow up letter that would further explain why I would be a great fit. He said to mention you guys owe him after what he did for you at the Christmas party in 2018 and that he wouldn’t hesitate to go to the authorities and have you put away for a very long time if any of you think about acting shifty. Whatever that means. 

Anyway, I look forward to hearing back from you and being a leader and top contributor to my new team.

Thanks in advance,

Thomas Nepoford III