Tag: Florida

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Ron DeSantis Rejects AP African American Studies, Addresses Florida Educators

Dear Florida Educators,  It’s no secret that the ‘woke mind virus’ has been infecting our public school systems. With this ‘virus’ spreading, the delicate ears of our children are being exposed to the lies of bogus events such as slavery or the holocaust. Drag queens have been seen in our public education system, grooming our kids and confusing them about their gender.  At this time, … Continue reading Ron DeSantis Rejects AP African American Studies, Addresses Florida Educators

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Why Ron DeSantis Always Wears a Suit

Florida Governor Ron DeSantis is known not only for being an ideological fascist clown but for dressing like one too. His horrendously tacky navy blue suits do an excellent job of showing how he relates to the everyman. Because there’s no other way to choose a suit that is simultaneously too tight and falling off your body other than being a fucking idiot.  Thankfully, the … Continue reading Why Ron DeSantis Always Wears a Suit

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Florida Man is Way Too Confident for a 30-year-old Virgin

WEST PALM BEACH – Florida Man Mickey Pugnuts was arrested last night at his mother’s guesthouse after receiving numerous calls of being way too confident about sex he hasn’t received yet. Bar patrons, neighbors, friends, and even family have made calls to the Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office to lodge complaints against the 30-year-old virgin. “All I remember was him belligerently begging this poor woman … Continue reading Florida Man is Way Too Confident for a 30-year-old Virgin

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Lost In Deportation: Ted Cruz And Marco Rubio Deported To Mexico

Somewhere in the middle of nowhere, Mexico. An abandoned shipping crate labeled “To Mexico” rattles around in a desperate struggle before the side panel gives, and a hogtied Ted Cruz rolls from the box. He takes a moment to collect himself, keeping his eyes closed tightly before mustering the courage to look around. A flurry of muffled expletives are trapped behind a bandana, and a … Continue reading Lost In Deportation: Ted Cruz And Marco Rubio Deported To Mexico

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Trump Promise To Kill Plenty of Elderly at Florida Rally

On Monday, President Trump announced that he would be looking to set the record of most elderly infected with COVID-19 today at his rally in The Villages, Florida.  “I’m going to blow Cuomo’s nursing home slaughter out of the water,” the President said. “I’m will have my own mini-genocide right above Disney World. Walt would be so proud. He is proud. But, he would be … Continue reading Trump Promise To Kill Plenty of Elderly at Florida Rally

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