On Monday, President Trump announced that he would be looking to set the record of most elderly infected with COVID-19 today at his rally in The Villages, Florida.
“I’m going to blow Cuomo’s nursing home slaughter out of the water,” the President said. “I’m will have my own mini-genocide right above Disney World. Walt would be so proud. He is proud. But, he would be too.”
Trump promised to do everything in his power to make sure as many people’s grandparents die as possible.
“I would like to hit the hundreds, maybe thousands, who knows,” Trump mentioned. “Maybe it will take the whole place down?”
Though his methods for doing so were unconventional.
“I will cough in a grandma’s mouth if I have to,” he said. “I will even give them this Presidential Penis if they ask for it. We just need to build that herd immunity, folks.”
The President then closed by denying he even has the Coronavirus since his positive diagnosis just the previous week that sent him to Walter Reed Medical Center.
“But, the fake news media will try to tell you I’m positive. I tested positively negative just the other day, and the doctors say, ‘ sir, you’re so strong the virus is no longer spreading in you, you can no longer spread it to anyone else. And I wasn’t surprised. Your strong, favorite president beat the China Virus and is going to come back stronger than ever to make China pay and pay big for what they did to the American People and this country, so help me, God.”