Menu Readin’
“Don’t mind me, just tryin’ to read the menu.” Continue reading Menu Readin’
Tag: usa
Trump and Associates Hold Meeting On His Virginia Golf Course
Twitter erupted on Sunday as former President Donald Trump arrived in Washington, D.C., seemingly plucked directly from the golf course, still dawning his golf cleats. Questions quickly arose surrounding the choice of attire, sparking rumors of medical issues or an indictment. But the internet went absolutely feral when Trump, his son Eric, and a few other rotund conservative swine, were caught on camera riding out … Continue reading Trump and Associates Hold Meeting On His Virginia Golf Course
Madison Cawthorne Appears On “Would You Date A Russian Spy?”
North Carolina Representative Madison Cawthorne is back on the market and looking for the next love of his life. But this time, he took a different approach to find love with a Russian spy. “Last time a Russian spy tricked me, I was on vacation in St. Petersberg,” Cawthorne explained. “It was there a completely uncompromised U.S. marine introduced me to my incredibly active ex-wife. … Continue reading Madison Cawthorne Appears On “Would You Date A Russian Spy?”
Men Are Being Priced Out Of Second Families
The American Capitalist, Imperialist, Empire has effectively killed the middle class. As of today, fewer people in the United States cannot afford to start a family. And for those young couples still rebellious enough to defy God and have children are having fewer than ever before. But, nobody has suffered more from the weight of lower wages, less frequent pay raises, and non-exist union representation … Continue reading Men Are Being Priced Out Of Second Families
White Woman Believes Men And Women Aren’t Equal
“Men and women aren’t equal. Women are too emotional to make logical decisions, and that’s why they can’t be leaders,” explains Becky Bootlicker to a captive audience at her work happy hour. “I know because I come from a family of strong men. My dad and brother put their lives on this country every day protecting poppy and oil fields in the Middle East, and … Continue reading White Woman Believes Men And Women Aren’t Equal
Florida Man is Way Too Confident for a 30-year-old Virgin
WEST PALM BEACH – Florida Man Mickey Pugnuts was arrested last night at his mother’s guesthouse after receiving numerous calls of being way too confident about sex he hasn’t received yet. Bar patrons, neighbors, friends, and even family have made calls to the Palm Beach County Sheriffs Office to lodge complaints against the 30-year-old virgin. “All I remember was him belligerently begging this poor woman … Continue reading Florida Man is Way Too Confident for a 30-year-old Virgin
NRA Responses to Joe Biden with Another Terroristic Threat
Last week, in the wake of two mass shootings, more of which continue to plague this country week after week, Joe Biden looks to move forward with gun control measures. The administration will look to eliminate the ability for guns to be purchased and assembled in pieces, prevent the sale of stabilizing devices that turn pistols into short-barrel rifles, and allow police to remove firearms … Continue reading NRA Responses to Joe Biden with Another Terroristic Threat
All Living Trump Family Members Pardoned
The Trump family sits baited in front of a warm television screen. “And with that, we are happy to announce that the electoral college has named Joseph Robinette Biden as the 46th president of the United States,” the anchor proclaims from behind the camera. “President-Elect Biden will take office on January 20th.” “Fuckers!” scream a very high Donald Trump Jr as he slams the TV … Continue reading All Living Trump Family Members Pardoned
Let’s Go To Disney World
Eliteza Pizza Celebrates Grand Reopening
Ciao my fellow human, non-reptile piasanos! It’s-a me! Hilariano Clintiano! Celebrating the grand reopening of the house of adrenochrome and capicola, Eliteza Pizza! We use the freshest ingredients straight from Italia to bake you the freshest, hottest, and sexiest pizza this side of a federal prison cell. Before we went into hiding, I mean coronavirus, we served a variety of celebrities and world leaders! Tom … Continue reading Eliteza Pizza Celebrates Grand Reopening