“You gotta be shitting me!” Lucus Wright of Ozaukee County, Wisconsin, exclaimed when his girlfriend told him about an outstanding leather shop she visited on a family trip to Alaska in 2012. “They had a store in Alaska! Like a real store with people not animals but people working indoors and using currency and all that jazz? Now I’ve heard it all,” said Wright.

“I figured that the people who lived there just bartered for supplies and things they needed, like, ‘I’ll trade you this set of pine cones for some sturdy leaves to wipe my ass,’ you know, stuff like that.”

Wright, who sports an IQ right around the hundred mark, admits that while he has never been to the 49th state, he felt like he had a pretty solid handle on life in Alaska. However, the 36-year-old Wisconsin native later admitted that his only frame of reference to Alaska was from watching his local PBS station as a child.

“Bob Ross basically raised me while my parents worked late. He was the Rembrandt of our times, the man could paint anything but it was mostly Alaska,” said Wright.

“His landscapes were so beautiful and majestic, so I just figured all Alaska had was nature, no stores or houses, the occasional shack in the distance, and Sarah Palin. Her daughter was so hot, and so was her husband, for that matter, a very distinguished-looking dude.”