“Men and women aren’t equal. Women are too emotional to make logical decisions, and that’s why they can’t be leaders,” explains Becky Bootlicker to a captive audience at her work happy hour. “I know because I come from a family of strong men. My dad and brother put their lives on this country every day protecting poppy and oil fields in the Middle East, and are worth way more than my lazy mother.”
Too unnerved by the lack of self-worth, those around her struggle to come up with a response to her statement.
“Really?” asked a concerned female coworker. “They told you that men and women aren’t equal?”
“They don’t have to tell me,” replied Bootlicker. “My dad beats the shit out of my mom. And yes, they tell me.”
Now choking on her drink. “I meant in the workplace. In life. Not a fist fight bitch, damn. Your dad hits you guys?”
“Not us, just my mom when she says some stupid liberal shit while my dad’s trying to watch Hannity and Tucker Carlson,” laughed Bootlicker. “The three of us have a very special relationship.”
“I’m going to fucking throw up.”
“If you don’t understand, it’s ‘cause you’re not a patriot,” snapped Bootlicker. “Liberals try to make my family seem like freaks when I’d do anything to serve those who serve our country. Because without them, we’d be China or something.”
“Plus, nobody makes me cum like my brother,” closed Bootlicker.