Has your couch been used, abused, beaten, and fucked on? Bare assed it so much on the couch that it’s starting to smell? Afraid of what your teenage son might’ve done on it when you weren’t home?
Then you need Bare Butts and Nuts Couch Restoration Services!
Our couch restoration experts work around the clock to restore your couch to its former glory. With our proprietary blend of methamphetamine, salvia, and a lot of elbow grease, our experts can lick just about any stain from any material.
We remove hard-to-clean stains, dirt, and bodily fluids, including but not limited to:
- Food
- Wine
- Coffee
- Pet Urine
- People Urine
- Semen
- Skid Marks
- & More!
No matter what ungodly sin occurred on your couch, Bare Butts and Nuts will make sure it’s kind of not there anymore.
So give us a call today at (555)-666-7777! Or keep avoiding having people back to your apartment because you’re embarrassed by your nasty ass couch. We really don’t care.
But, when your couch eventually gives you ringworm, give our sister company, Ringworm Wranglers Removal Service, a call. And yes, the removal involves our mouths!