After months of speculation and rumors, 4-time NFL MVP Aaron Rodgers has officially been traded to the New York Jets. The deal was long coming and quite costly for the Jets.

Gang-green would not only have to swap their first round pick with the Packers in the upcoming NFL draft, but they will also part ways with the 42nd pick, the 207th, a 2024 conditional second-round pick, which becomes a first-round pick if Rodgers plays 65 percent of the plays for the Jets in 2023 and limits his mentions of Ayahuasca to only 45 percent of his conversations.

“We finally got our man,” said Jets GM Joe Douglas. “I’m already regretting it, but we got him.”

The draft picks were not the only thing the Jets had to give up to get the Super Bowl champion signal caller. The team had to agree to a litany of demands from Rodgers, a few of which included:

Home games must be played at night with the stadium lights turned off. Jake from State Farm must be named offensive coordinator but doesn’t have to call plays. Joe Rogan must be the play-by-play announcer for all games and must call all plays.

Rodgers spoke with reporters and touched on exactly what drew him to New York and the Jets.

“After all those years in Green Bay, I guess I just got used to the color green, so that really narrowed down the choices,” said Rodgers.

“The Eagles wear green, but they already have a great QB in Jalen Hurts. The Seahawks also wear Green, but they have an outstanding QB in Geno Smith …” Rodgers paused to laugh loudly for several seconds. “I’m just messing with you guys, Geno Smith; come on, I just can’t live in Seattle. If you think New Yorkers are nuts, go out there for a week.

It is unknown if Rodgers will be permitted to wear his trademark number 12 in New York. The number is currently retired by the Jets for legendary panty hose pitch man and noted philanderer Joe Namath. When asked whether or not he would allow Mr. Rodgers to wear his number, the 79-year-old Hall of Famer was flattered.

“Mr. Rogers wants to wear my number? Exclaimed Namath. “Fred Rodgers is one of the coolest cats around. Not only can he wear number 12 I hope he lets Daniel Tiger  wear it too!”