Hi, I’m Sarah McLachlan. Will you be an angel for a helpless animal? Me. Every day innocent animals are abused, beaten, and neglected. And they’re crying out for help. Because I can’t make as much money from these commercials as I used to.
That’s why I’m releasing my Sarah McLachlan’s Arms of The Angel’s Luxury Jewelry, Handbags, and Home Goods Collection (not affiliated with the ASCPA).
Please, call the number on your screen to purchase your favorite items for you and a friend. And while you’re at it, join our Patreon and sign up to bless me with a monthly gift right now. For just eighteen dollars a month, only sixty cents a day, you’ll help rescue me from having to get a job and provide me with medical care, food, shelter, and love. And in return, you will receive my love in the form of a handwritten letter from my assistant with polaroid updates of how I’m doing, and for an extra twelve dollars a month, my feet.
Call, or join online live on TikTok in the next thirty minutes, and you’ll receive this welcome kit with a resin keychain of a photo of me with the one-eyed shih tzu from the commercial – one who’s been given a second chance, thanks to you, but mostly me.