“Dan Campbell really fucked us out of a Super Bowl, but at least I still get to live in the crown jewel of the Midwest!,” said Detroit Native Gerald Faulk. 

The 48-year-old Target electronic department manager is taking the Lions NFC championship game lost in stride. Faulk says he is happy for the 49ers fans and the people of San Francisco. “If a city ever needed a reason to celebrate, it’s the folks out there. “Crime and homeless people everywhere you look, living in San Francisco must be a special kind of hell. Thank the good lord we get to live in Motown.” 

When asked if he took exception to Coach Campbell’s decision to pass up on two field goal opportunities that could have sent the Lions to the franchise’s first Super Bowl, Faulk quipped. 

“We have a basketball stadium that’s named after Little Caesars, we’re doing alright, thank you very much.”