Welcome back, students!
It is with great pride that we announce the school-wide reading list for the year! Gone are the days of wasting precious time reading scum, smut, or whatever they call those backward Chinese comics. The children are the future, so we must fill their heads with literary works that will propel them forward as strong, passionate Americans.
We will not let them fall back into the made-up worlds of Narnia and Neverland. There will be no distractions of Middle Earth, gay wizards, or women—speaking or otherwise. We do not need stories of other lives in distant lands, for the most important land is the one we’re standing on, here to defend and protect: the patriot-bleeding US of A.
So, what’s on the outs? Say goodbye to nonsensical curriculum involving books like The Giving Tree (overly dramatic and a waste of space that could be used as a parking spot!), It’s Perfectly Normal: Changing Bodies, Growing Up, Sex, and Sexual Health (not appropriate for children, especially our future child brides, now or ever!), The Hunger Games (female protagonists going against their societal roles is exactly what we’re not trying to teach), and The Dictionary (Floridians have enough confidence to know our speling is correct.)
We do have some exciting news of what’s to come. If your student planned to write their book report on a story from another time, we have good news for you! The Fiction section of the library has been stripped clean of its former contents. In its place, we’ve filled the line of shelves with as many military and war stories as we could possibly find. Some even featuring our brave leaders Ron DeSantis and President Donald Trump. The section has been relabeled to “Stuff That Really Happened and is 100% Accurate.”
To prepare these growing minds for the world and what’s to come in adulthood, we insist that the student’s annual course load of texts be informative and engaging. Readers of today and tomorrow, it may even be imperative to the state of our nation.
Freedom Rings Elementary School proudly presents the 2024-2025 reading list for our K-5
▪ The Constitution for Babies by DK
▪ The Berenstain Bears God Bless Our Country by Mike Berenstain
▪ Liberty Lane: A Conservative Children’s Book Series by Josh Bansal & Amalia Halikias ▪ Make Children’s Books Great Again by B. Conservative
2-3 Graders
▪ The Little Republican by Rebecca Hanna
▪ The Little Book of Presidential Elections by Zack Bush
▪ Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder
▪ The Right to Bear Arms Learning Liberty – Cubs to Bears by Brett Pike
▪ Sophie Votes Republican by Laura Hall
▪ The Plot Against the King by Kash Patel
▪ Why Everyone Needs an AR-15: A Guide for Kids by Brian Lenney
▪ The Tuttle Twins and the 12 Rules Boot Camp by Connor Boyack
Can’t get enough of these page-turning thrillers? Get ahead of the pack (and score extra credit!) for diving into these dense but important reads:
▪ The Art of the Deal by Donald Trump
▪ Think Like a Champion by Donald Trump
▪ How to Be an Alpha by Andrew Tate
▪ 5 Lies College Tells Your Kids by Ben Shapiro ▪ Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler