After the most recent school shooting at a Christian elementary school in Nashville, Tennessee, cops around the country are pissed at the “dick riding” lawmakers are doing for the Nashville Police Department. 

“The amount of wee-wee sucking going on in Washington about the response time of the Nashville PD makes it even harder to be a cop than it already has been in recent years,” Officer Tony Bologna of the LAPD. “We used just to have to be better than Broward and Uvalde, and the bar was so low. But now, people expect us to respond when some kook with a gun in killing children and educators.”

The new standard is hard for some of those in law enforcement to comprehend. 

“Back when I joined the force if someone was lighting up a school, you were parked outside, you had the backing of the Supreme Court (DeShaney v. Winnebago County Department of Social Services) to protect your own life and not respond,” said Officer Chet Hardon of the Flint PD. “You could just kick your patrol cruiser seat back, have some Diet Coke and try to take a nap over the sounds of children and teachers screaming bloody murder.” 

Though some are taking it harder than others.

“I’m going to kill myself, RIGHT NOW,” tweeted a now-former officer of the Broward County Police Department. 

People around the country should be advised not to hold their breath for any last changes from the Nashville school shooting. Though the hogs are known to make changes when their egos are at stake, they quickly forget and become complacent.