Robert F. Kennedy Jr., the son of former assassinated senator Robert F. Kennedy has officially thrown his hat in the ring for the 2024 presidential race.
Following in the footsteps of his famous political family, Kennedy Jr. has been a known activist for many causes, most notably advocating against vaccinations. Kennedy Jr. did not try to soften his anti-vax stance but instead doubled down on his controversial views by announcing to the exuberant crowd that he had recently contracted Smallpox.
“That’s right, I’ve got the Pox!” shouted Kennedy Jr., as the first few rows of the Boston crowd looked on in horror.
“I’ve been traveling the globe far and wide, searching, hoping, and praying for someone who could give me this gift. I will prove once and for all that our own natural God-given immune systems are capable of handling anything mother nature can throw at us.”
Mr. Kennedy then paused to cough loudly for five continuous minutes.
The acute contagious disease caused by the variola virus devastated humanity for nearly 3000 years and was responsible for millions of deaths before its eradication in 1980. Though extremely rare, it is still possible to contract the disease
When asked for comment, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Former Chief Medical Advisor to the President of the United States, said: “He was both appalled and mildly impressed by the audacity of Kennedy Jr. to contract such a rare disease to prove a point.”
“I don’t know how the hell he got this thing, but he did it. It’s a real testament to the strength of the human condition,” I’m horrified, but I’m impressed, nonetheless,” said Fauci.
During his announcement, contracting and possibly spreading a deadly disease was not the most controversial thing Kennedy Jr. did. The presidential hopeful also voiced support for a Flat Tax. Many are hoping Smallpox wins before the election.