If you’re like me, you’ve been having a lot of fun in the sun! Unfortunately, due to the sedatives you were under the influence of, you probably forgot to use sunscreen. Now you’re as red as a Maine lobster! No worries, babe. Here are some fun activities for when your sunburn is so bad you feel like you need to jump off an 8-story building.
- Go to the mall and relive some childhood nostalgia.
- Cover yourself in mud. You may think that rolling around in mud puddles is for children, but it’s also for adults suffering severe burns. Mud has characteristics that will heal your wounds– not your physical wounds, but your spiritual pain. Getting in a muddy swamp will remind you what it means to be alive. Cherish the mess, mama!
- Hideaway for many days. This fun summer activity is perfect for shy, timid burned folks, or for the extrovert looking to become less terrible to be around.
- Lay down under a blanket. Keep the sun out, but make your body so warm that you melt the burn with your own inner flame. Sparkle, girlie!
- Get your nails done. Maybe somewhere with alcohol?
- Howl in the streets at midnight. There’s no sun at this hour, making it a perfect opportunity to let your demons fly loose. Plus, howling is proven to reduce stress and make you feel better (until the cops come).
- Suggest to your father that he didn’t provide for you as a child. It wasn’t your fault that the divorce was eating him alive. You didn’t put the whiskey on his side table. And yet, you were the object of his pain. How dare he strip you of your innocence by unraveling to your infant self. You were supposed to be the child, not the parent.
- Find a sugar daddy and ride on his yacht! Then hide below deck and lock him out.
- Tear the burned skin from your body in a performance art piece on the corner of downtown. Children and adults alike need to learn about the damage the sun can provide. Every good thing in this world is a knife in disguise.
- Go to a hat store and try on hats. You look great, sister!
There you have it, folks! Don’t let the sunburn get you down. As you can see, there are plenty of ways to still have a fantastic summer. Wear sunscreen next time, though!