In a radical act of protest, Florida Man Mickey Pugnuts self-immolated in front of a West Palm Beach Wendy’s Thursday morning in protest of the company’s announcement to move to dynamic pricing during “serge periods.”

Witnesses say Pugnuts walked up to the Wendy’s drive-thru, dousing himself in liquid and screaming, “Don’t you fuck with my Wendy’s” before lighting himself on fire. It took almost 15 minutes before the employees inside walked outside and then walked right back in. 

“I don’t get paid enough for this shit,” said one of the employees. “$7.93 an hour is only enough for me to mind my damn business.” 

Wenday’s CEO and owner of one of the possible most cracker-coded names I’ve ever heard, Kirk Tanner, offered his condolences to the Pugnuts Family.

“We reached out to the Pugnuts to let them know we grieve with them in this hard time, but they have yet to get back to us. Off the record, we just want to say that before this tragic event, we’d already decided not to go forward with surge pricing, so this was basically all for nothing and this guy was probably a fucking idiot. We actually spoke with his family, but the only ones that answered only alluded to him being moron. Guy thought he came out here to be a hero like Aaron Bushnell, but ended up dying like a Biggie-sized clown for his Baconator. But, on the record, thoughts and prayers.”