“When I got off work on Friday, I knew I was going to sit alone in my dark apartment pretending I don’t exist until I had to return to wage slavery today,” Otto Ohwell told Lousy Human while eating a Sausage McMuffin on his stoop at 7:30am. “But then I spent all weekend watching McDonald’s employee POV videos on YouTube, and I don’t know, I just woke up this morning feeling refreshed. Ready to take on the week.”

The fast-paced environment captivated Ohwell’s attention. As he watched order after order be filled, he felt something come over him. 

“Not only did it give me a renewed sense of appreciation for the job I currently have,” he said. “But it gave me a mission for the weekend. Eat everything they’re making.” 

Twice a day, two days in a row, Otto went to his local McDonald’s and ordered everything off the menu to create a more immersive viewing experience. 

“I’d order one of everything in the morning and fire up the breakfast shift videos,” he explained. “When someone ordered it on the screen, I would deconstruct it, reconstruct it, then eat it like I just made my own order, and it really brought the immersiveness of the video to a new level.”

Then, he’d make a return trip in the afternoon and repeat the process. 

“It got a little tough once someone ordered the only one I had of an item, and I heavily debated picking up more of the frequent items the next day, but I knew then I was unsure I would be able to eat the additional items or skip out on some of the less order meals. So I just went with the entire menu again.”

However, it wasn’t all fun and games for Otto. 

“Somewhere around 8pm last night, I became super aware of how thick my blood felt, and then the elevator doors started closing,” he said between bites of his breakfast sandwich. “I woke up to my landlord and his wife standing over me.”

On Monday Morning, Otto’s landlord came to collect late rent from his tenant when he opened the door to find him unconscious on the floor.

“He was just lying there looking like he hadn’t drank water since last week,” his landlord said. “I looked around the apartment, and he had no water in his fridge. His water in the apartment wasn’t even working, which is a conversation I have to have with him. All he had around was his Sprite on the table, so I put the straw in his mouth, and he started sucking on it like a newborn. I heard what sounded like an electric shock, and he woke back up.” 

“I was grateful that he found me,” Otto said. “But more grateful for the excellent night’s sleep I got and the leftover Mickey D’s I have this morning. My landlord even waited 20 minutes after I woke up before demanding my rent.” 

When asked what he learned from the weekend’s events, he said, “They couldn’t pay me enough to work 8 hours non-stop unless I got to eat one of everything I made that day. But overall, I have learned nothing from this experience and am looking forward to a repeat this weekend.”