For most, waking up in the middle of the night to cold feet is never fun. But for 31-year-old old Vinny Gooch, the experience is one of terror.

“I get so fucking scared I could cry,” Vinny said. “I wake up, my piggies are frozen solid, and my next instinct is to start looking around the room for the person who’s responsible because they are surely taking me to my grave.”

Unable to cope with the uncertainty of darkness, a desperate Gooch looks to his girlfriend for comfort.

“He makes me be the big spoon until he falls asleep,” Maria Martini explained. “Sometimes he jams his toes between my thighs and lays there whimpering.” 

Though Vinny says otherwise.

“Did she tell you I was crying? Because I fucking wasn’t,” Gooch protested. “I ask her to hold me during the one thing that makes me feel vulnerable and she goes around telling everyone I’m a crying piss baby. AND IM SICK OF IT! If ANYTHING, she falls asleep ON ME while I cry…am looking to warm up. FUCK.”

Inconsolable, Gooch makes one final statement. 

“YOU KNOW WHAT? I’M ALLOWED TO BE SCARED! I’M ALLOWED TO HAVE FEAR BECAUSE IT’S SCARY REGARDLESS IF NOBODY ELSE HAS THE BALLS TO SAY IT BUT ME! WHEN YOUR FEET ARE COLD AND IT’S 3:33 AM, WHICH IS THE ONLY TIME OUR PHYSICAL BODIES CAN CROSS OVER TO THE DEMON WORLD, YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT’S IN THE DARKNESS! AND UNTIL SOMEONE CAN TELL ME, IM NOT CUTTING OUT SHIT! SOME PEOPLE NEED TO STOP BEING SOOO IGNORANT! SOME OF US HAVE SEEN DEMONS WITH OUR MORTAL EYES!”