In her recent memoir, South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem tells the tale of shooting her 14-month-old puppy to death for bad behavior, a story in which the Governor and her yes-men thought would show strength instead of just making her look like an incompetent and violent pet owner has now taken a Great Dane-sized shit all over her face. And it’s uniting upset white folk in hatred for the Noem on both sides of the aisle. 

“I wish she would put herself down,” one liberal woman protesting said. “I didn’t even blink as she tried to stir the pot of fascism in his country, but killing dogs is where I draw the line.”

“The stupidity that she thought was a good thing to do and being dumb enough to tell people about it,” said a MAGA hat-wearing man. “And in writing, too! I’m not even that stupid, and I got arrested for voting for Donald Trump twice.” 

While everyone waits to see if the Governor will remove herself from politics, the public eye, and the planet before the release of the book, many agree she’s too much of a sociopathic coward to do so.