How To Prepare A Billionaire (For Dinner!): Oil Tycoon

When the actions of the ruling class eventually lead to a global food shortage there will be nothing left to do but consume the rich before they consume us! So for when we finally light up the grill for the first bourgeoisie bbq, Lousy Human has a char-grilled recipe you can take with you into the apocalypse. 

Grilled Arctic Oil Tycoon

Here’s what you’ll need:

  • 4 (6- to 8-ounce) American oil tycoon, skin-on
  • Fine sea salt
  • Fresh ground pepper
  • Unrefined oil
  • Maldon sea salt
  • Lemon wedges, for serving

Step 1

Preheat a grill pan over medium heat, drizzling in some black oil. You’ll want to wait for the pan to reach the proper temperature. Which is about as hot as the fires of hell your freshly caught oil tycoon is burning in. 

Step 2

Using a sharp knife, make two vertical slices through the skin of that stupid piece of shit, keep in mind all the pain and suffering he’s put people through to make a profit, the prices he gauged during global crisis’ in the name of inflation and shortages, the people that have died for his dollar; season with sea salt and pepper.

Step 3

Place fillets on the grill, scale-side down, and grill until that crude black oil he worked his whole life around turns his reptilian skin crisp and the meat is almost cooked through or about 3 minutes. Carefully turn the billionaire over and continue grilling until cooked through, 1 1/2 to 2 minutes. Finish the time in the pan with another drizzle of unrefined oil and ignite. Let the flame extinguish naturally, then sprinkle with Maldon sea salt and serve immediately with lemon wedges.

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