As apartheid-era South African Nepobaby and U.S. immigrant Elon Musk does his best ‘Roman Salute’ (allegedly) around the White House high on ketamine and coke (allegedly), other Republicans are having equally normal reactions to Donald Trump once again becoming President of this dogshit country.

Congresswoman Lauren Boebert is currently outside the DC prison where January 6th insurrectionists are being held, awaiting release after President Donald Trump commuted their sentences swiftly following his inauguration Monday afternoon. Boebert is looking to be the first Rep. to formally greet them upon their release and offer to “suck them for their service.”

Though many MAGA-Republicans are applauding Boebert for her courage and sacrifice, her actions have drawn some critics, particularly fellow MAGA Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene.

“Marge is pissed,” an anonymous source told Lousy Human. “It was originally her idea. But then the first one came out…and declined. Then the second. And then the third. After the fifth time, she left, and that’s when Boebert came in with the press.”

Sources say Boebert is having better success than her House of Representatives counterpart but is struggling to keep up with demand.

“You can only imagine the taste of men who have had nothing but prison food for the last three years,” the source said. “She’s gagging for reasons she didn’t anticipate.”

Boebert has pledged to see her mission through, but even her most ardent supporters doubt she can handle the load.